Some conversations are a mess – unnerving, uncomfortable or down right annoying. How do we work with that?
In the Mindful Conversation practice John Scilipote and I have developed, we talk a lot about the concept of “abiding in conversation”. When we abide in conversation – by slowing down and committing to endure through the hard stuff – it’s possible to make room for the conversation to take us to new and unexpected places where discovery and wisdom emerge. And whether the conversation is juicy or a mess, abiding can also create the space for acceptance and love to bubble up, of which both energies have the ability to transform conversation and relationships.
We consider “abiding in conversation” to be a foundational practice and a practice we bring to all our BreakBread conversations and our Mindful Conversation classes. We’ve recorded an “Abiding in Conversation” Visualization for you to enjoy at your leisure.
Certainly, this is one of many practices one can use to build meaningful conversations and by no means, the end all be all. After all conversations are complex – and good conversation is a prism, wrapped up in a spider web, carried by a lifetime commitment of showing up.
Amerikatsi: A View Into Freedom
September’s BreakBread prompt was on Freedom: What does freedom feel like? Tell us a story (or a moment) when you discovered you were free or when you discovered that you weren’t free.
We had explored this prompt at two previous BreakBread dinners. Martha pulled it out and dusted it off – We’re not done with this – it should be September’s prompt. My brain squiggled and squirmed and i knew this prompt was going to be trouble. Good trouble. What does freedom feel like? There’s the catch – the word feel. Not what is it or what does it mean but how does it feel? My rational mind convulses as it finds itself being pulled into the gravitational field of my heart. How to answer such a question?
Then…
The Abortion Talks, Can Conversation Save Us From Division?
I recently had the privilege of watching the first public screening of The Abortion Talks a yet-to-be released documentary by Sarah Perkins and Josh Sabey, that covers the crimes of John Salvi and the story of six women, all of them leaders in the pro-life and pro-choice movements, who sought to ensure that it would never happen again.
Being both pro-choice and having a late mother who was a pro-life activist, I found the division and paradox explored in this film to be deeply familiar.
Unfinished Live: Inspiring & Disturbing
What does our digital future have to do with BreakBread World?
Last week I was tipped off about a digital future conference, Unfinished Live, at the Shed (in Hudson Yards, NYC) which was “exploring the Collision of Technology, Art, Ideas, and Impact.”
I left inspired but also deeply disturbed, which is not a definitive conclusion. It is one I drew as an audience member who wasn’t in a nuanced two-way conversation with any of the speakers. I say this because this is part of why I think the whole experience felt a little disturbing.
Give peace a chance?
Wednesday, September 21 marks the 40th anniversary of the first celebration of the International Day of Peace in 1982 and has been designated Peace Week 2022.
I was a child during the tail end of the Vietnam War. I remember seeing it on the television in our living room. I was told the war was happening far away but here it was in my living room before my very own eyes. It didn’t seem that far away to me and it certainly wasn’t far away for the people on the screen.
As a child, I could not comprehend why this was happening. What did the people in Vietnam do to deserve this? I felt confusion, and dread, and was deeply upset. Even after the war supposedly ended i remember there were years of people fleeing – the refugees the news referred to as “boat people”. Why? Why war when peace is clearly so much better?
The Capital(ist) “i” / Why Must “i” Be This Way?
There’s been a lot of attention paid to pronouns in recent years. He and she now have a lot of company. It’s becoming more common to meet a person wishing to be referred to as “they” in reference to their “personal gender pronoun”. And there are other personal pronouns that include the likes of ze, per, and ve to name a few. At first, I had a hard time understanding the meaning and importance of this development although I do remember growing up in the 70s when the honorific “Ms” came more into vogue and women began making their preference clear. I think it’s healthy to question tradition – to be in dialogue as to why we do things the way we do, what it means, and to be in inquiry as to what serves us and how.
Personally, i’ve always wondered about the pronoun “i” or capital “I” as we’ve all been instructed to write it. Why must “i” be this way?
What an amazing time to be alive!?
What does a culture of inquiry mean? It means we have practices in place where we can get under the implicit and explicit assumptions that run our everyday lives. And the benefit is a greater sense of context and meaning – both of which are antidotes to the machine world we live in. With this, we share with your the BreakBread prompt for the month of August as food for inquiry. Let us know what you come up with!
What an amazing time to be alive!?
What time is it for the world?
What time is it for you?
An amazing time? I suppose it depends on who you’re talking to.
What is Culture?
Culture in its simplest terms is “shared meaning” so if you want a more conscious culture or to “shift culture,” you have to understand what meaning is already resonating in the people...in the culture. You included!
Shared meaning is often invisible and laced with assumptions, expectations, and implicit values that aren’t fully known or understood. And, we often think of culture as something out there, deemed by some authority. But culture lives in "the people” and in the people’s relationship to the ideas, stories, and ethos of a culture.
What does conversation have to do with peace?
John and I were recently invited to attend a panel session at the UN exploring the role of innovation in education and peacebuilding. It was sponsored by The Permanent Missions of Costa Rica and El Salvador to the UN, in collaboration with the Permanent Observer Mission of the University for Peace to the United Nations (UPEACE), the Peace Innovation Initiative (PII), and the Business Council for International Understanding (BCIU). This was the beginning of the initiative focused on “building an ecosystem for sustainable peacebuilding.” Visionary leader, Barbara Winston, Founder, Chair and President of PII set the stage by personally welcoming everyone and intoning the need to revive the global conversation on peace as she invoked peace as a practice disruptive of the status quo.
I was surprised it felt like home to be among this group, yet up until now, when John and I think of our work in culture and conversation we hadn’t thought much about “peacebuilding.” But why not? Why isn’t peace at center stage?
Mindful Conversation: What is it and Why is it Important?
In a society where disconnection is rampant and we seek belonging and inclusion, the practice of Mindful Conversation invites us to be more present in conversation. It asks us to look at our learned, often unconscious, patterns and challenges us to bring a more whole version of ourselves to the table.
But what is Mindful Conversation?
Desire and Longing in Conversation
Most of our conversations have to do with quelling desires. And many of these conversations are important — some, vitally important. But within conversation lies the invitation to journey towards the horizon beyond the fence of desire along the outskirts of the unknown, our longing guiding and propelling us forward.
Culture Shift Podcast Ep. 10: What Is Prison Really For? A Culture Shift Conversation With Dr. Baz Dreisinger
Join host Martha Williams as she talks with Dr. Baz Dreisinger, author, activist, professor at John Jay College, and founder of Incarceration Nations Network, about the role of prison in serving justice and the greater society.
Culture Shift Podcast Episode 09: The Real Origin Story of Climate Change with Sara Jolena Wolcott, M. Div, Director of Sequoia Samanvaya
Culture Shift Podcast Episode 08: Healing Racism, the Taproot of America with Dr. Gail Christopher, former Senior Advisor and Vice President of the W. K. Kellogg Foundation
Culture Shift Podcast Episode 07: The Culture of Gender Inequality with Michelle P. King, author of The Fix & Director of Inclusion at Netflix
Join host Martha Williams as she talks with Michelle P. King, who, after sixteen years working with major Fortune 500 companies as a gender equality expert, realized one simple truth—the tired advice of fixing women doesn’t fix anything because it's our workplace CULTURE that holds inequality in place.
I Hate Speed Networking: Exploring our Relationship to Networking for Facilitators
What is networking? What about speed networking? What about networking with fellow facilitators? Join us in exploration around the nature of networking, our personal relationship to networking, and participate in exercises where you learn more about and build relationships with your fellow facilitators.
Culture Shift Podcast Episode 06: Rethinking Gender Through Embodiment with Ava Pipitone
Culture Shift Podcast Episode 05: What is Gender Reconciliation? With Will Keepin & Cynthia Brix
Gender Equity and Reconciliation International creates rare forums where people share - and hear - the unheard, often taboo stories around gender conditioning and sexuality. Founders Will Keepin PhD and Cynthia Brix PhD (hon) have conducted trainings for over 6,300 people in 11 countries, since the mid-nineties. Will’s background is in mathematical physics and environmental science, and Cynthia is an ordained interfaith minister.
Culture Shift Podcast/Videocast, Episode 04: Creating Cultures of Belonging with Jennifer Brown
Jennifer Brown is an award-winning entrepreneur, speaker, diversity and inclusion consultant, and author of two books: How To Be An Inclusive Leader and Inclusion; Diversity in the Workplace & the Will to Change.
When podcast host, Martha Williams, asked Jennifer, what do people need to know about the power of inclusion? She said, everyone wants to belong and everyone has something they don't feel like they can bring to work. She says there are dimensions of diversity that are below the waterline, or unseen, or unacknowledged as "diverse." If we took into account all the ways we are diverse, we can start to understand how we all benefit from cultures of inclusion.